Goodbye, beloving one
by spicemeisje
Summary: I knew it was time to say goodbye oneday, but had it to be this soon? - Charlie dies after a fight he had with Bella.
1. Its the end, my friend

I've never thought much about that my parents would die. But now it was there, it was extremely painfull. Of course, Edward told me once _'In a few decades, everyone you know, will be dead.' _But i've never thought that it would be so soon. My loving father, the sweet man, was dead. I would miss his black hair – that started to turn grey--, i would miss his Brown eyes, that i was born with --but traded it for my now golden eyes 10 years ago.—I would miss his supervising and the love he gave to my little girl, my daughter had to grow up, without her grand father. Of course, this day would come eventually, but why had it be so soon?

'_Bye, Bells, I need to go home. It's getting quite late, and my old eyes aren't getting better of traveling trough the dark.' Charlie hestitated, I knew he wanted to stay. But he couldn't, tomorrow was a school day and Renesme had to go to sleep. 'Ch-Dad, you're not old. You're just tired. You're only 49.' 'Hmmpf, yeah and I can't wait for my birthday. I'm going to be 50, Bella, 50!' I just laughed. At least he would get older, Carlisle never became older than 23, and Esme stopped aging at 26. They could never say that they were getting old, or complaining about they were getting grey-haired. I gave him a quick smile as he stalked to the door and opened it. 'Bella, I hope you'll consider it.'He said as he walked away and roughly closed the door. I didn't want to think about it. He seriously wanted my baby girl, my little angel who I gave birth to ten years ago to life with him. Of course I trusted Charlie with her. But I didn't quite trusted Jacob. My Little girl was getting older everyday and looked like she was 17. And mentally she felt 17. But I didn't wanted her to be alone with Jacob. I felt sick when I tought about what I did at the age of 17 with Edward, and I didn't wanted her to do that. She might look like 17, -- and act like 17 --, I just saw my 10 year old girl. And if she was really following my path, she would have an intimate relationship with Jacob in 2 years time. I wasn't going to support that. Not even when Charlie mentioned that he would never lose eyesight off her. Yeah, right. Just like with Edward and me. _

_I heard his footsteps in the grind as he opened the door of his car and started the engine._

_No, I would never send her away to him, how could he even consider it. Of course he didn't know about Edward and me in the night that I was still human and only 17, and later 18. Then I just better run right away toward her and say _'Sweety, have sex with Jake, it's okay! Just do the same what mommy did, and I don't care that you actually only are 10 years old!'_ I shivered at the thought. Nope, No way I would send her away._

_I stalked to the living room as Charlie's engine's sound faded and I could no longer see him trough the window._

'_That was awkward.' I breathed._

'_I could tell, he was very upset.' Esme answered as she opened her arms for a big hug._

'_I know.' I just ignored her arms and went straight for the chair at the other side of the room. I looked at her face and saw no pain in it. But I knew I'd hurt her._

'_Sorry, I'm not in the mood Esme.'_

'_I'ts okay honey. Sometimes you have days like that. I just thought you would want some comfort.'_

'_Not really, actually, I want to be alone.'_

'_Do you want me to leave?' She asked._

'_No, I will I'm going to my room.' I said as I ran to my room in vampire speed._

As I thought back at the fight, I started to think that it was all for nothing. It was just a little option he suggested.

'You should be happy that you didn't agree with him.' My love said as he kissed my collarbone and hugged me thight.

'What do you mean?'

'If you agreed with him, you wouldn't only lost your father, but lost our daughter to.' He kissed my foreheard and stared me deeply in the eyes.

'I know for sure that you would never forgive that to yourself.'

'Neither would you' I answered.

He had no answer for it.

'See' I breathed.

'I think I could handle it' he murmered as his lips traced down my neck and he softly kissed the bitemark he left 10 years ago.


	2. Saying goodbye

The wind was blowing in my face and made my hair dance along. The cold wind made me shiver, even though i couldn't get cold. Church bells were ringing and the scent from white roses were in my nose. White roses, Esme bought them, they where the same kind off roses that she used for her little boy. I kissed Renesmee on her cheek and walked to the hole in he ground. It had been one week since the car accident. I remembered how we had to tell Renesmee. And the hardest part wasn't for her that she had to grow up without her grandfather, but she had to live miles apart from her soulmate, Jacob. It had made me angry that she could only think about that. But after hours of discussions, Edward told her to go, live in La Push. Because just like Edward and me, they where meant to be. I didn't throw a fit that night, i just let it go. It had no point to argue that anymore. Edward already gave her what she wanted and i couldn't take it back.

"In love, and willing. I, Charlie, i miss you so. Why you too?" Sue started to sob as she said sweet things about my father. They had a relation for 9 years and now he was dead, too. That poor woman lost both of her husbands. God must really hate her or just want her to live and die alone. I sighed and for some reason, i wished i could cry. Show everyone how bad i felt, instead of Jasper feeling it.

I wanted to show it, scream, yell and be angry with God. But i couldn't do that, it would disturb the funeral.

The minister began to talk about me, how much Charlie had loved me and asked if i could say some things about my father. I hestitated, what could i say? I looked at Edward and he nodded once. I walked to the coffin and thought about what i could say. Something that everyone would need to hear, things i loved about him, about our bonding and fights.

A long minute passed by.

I noticed that Esme was staring at me. She mouthed "you can do it" and from that moment, i knew i could.

"Dad" I whispered. "I'm not here to sob. I'm not here to show my weakness. Everyone is crying, this isn't what you wanted."  
I felt a little uncomfortable and had the urge to puke, but since i couldn't, i just continued talking.

"I remember that i was 5, making mud-pies with Jacob, and you talking to Billy, about us. Laughing when my mudpie cept falling appart, i didn't understood that i needed water. And then you fell in the bushes, discovered that you were allergic to blackberries. You were sick for 2 weeks, but still driving me around, showed me all the love you had in you.

I remember that i was 17, telling you that i was in love with Edward. You first told me that you wanted to shoot him-"

Emmett interrupted me with his quiet laughter.

"And a half year later you told me to be safe, i told you that Edward was pretty oldskool, you wouldn't believe me till i told you that i was a virgin. You covered your ears and told me 'OK, i heard enough'. Well, atleast you didn't asked me again.

Or that you discovered about Renesmee, i thought you would explode in front of my eyes. You turned purple at first but as soon you watched in Renesmee's eyes, all your anger was gone. Because you loved her.

Or that time that you saw that Jacob and Renesmee were about to kiss and you shot him in his legg. It took Carlisle 2 hours to get the bullet out fo his legg."

Everyone laughed at that.

"But the thing that i remember the most is your love for me. You always supported me, wel except when i told you that i was going to get married, you always loved me, you really did."

I sighed and looked to the ground.

"And dad, i hope you catch some fish with Harry, i love you for always. Always in my heart and memories."

I walked to his coffin and kissed the top.

"Goodbye dad, love you."

Edward hugged me as soon as i reached him.

"I'm proud off you." he said as he kissed my head.

I remembered my letter, that was in his coffin, for always.

_For my sweet, loving father, Charlie,_

_It seems so impossible for me. You're gone. Its hard to think about it, and i rather don't. But i have to accept that i'm on my own now. I remember so many things but in these memories, you are alife. But you're gone when i open my eyes. Its so unfair. I knew that i would lose you someday, but not so soon. If i could cry, i would be broken by now. I would shed every tear that i had inside of me and i would be screaming till i couldn't use my voice anymore.  
I want to scream, Yell,_

_maybe even run to Alaska.  
I want to be away from here, because your memories are here. And i don't want to lose them, but i don't want to live in them either.  
And maybe, someday, we'll meet again.  
On one side, i would love to be with you, but on the other side: i don't want to leave the rest of my family alone.  
I will never have a new father, but i got a second father, i call him my vampdad. Carlisle and Esme are so sweet to me, and support me in everything i do.  
And everytime i look in Carlisle's eyes, i see the same worry that you had when i did something that could've ended wrong.  
And i know, that happened alot._

_I pray that you are in heaven now, fishing with Harry, looking over Renesmee. And looking over me.  
And dad,  
don't go after those beautifull angels!  
Till i see you again, chief._

Your only daughter,

_Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen._


End file.
